Why does God feel so far away when I pray?

My relationship with God should not be like a friend that I pick up the phone, and he is a far way away, and I give him a call and I am like, hey, what are you up to? The analogies that we see are the dwelling within ourselves. It is like a woman who is pregnant, who is nine months pregnant. She never forgets that she is pregnant. Whether she is awake or she is asleep, she is constantly aware of the baby growing inside of her. And this is the type of relationship that we are called to have with God, that God is literally dwelling within us, that he is knit together in the very fiber and core of our being, and that we do not see ourselves as being separate from him. Like there is me, and then there is God, and God is somewhere, and he is in heaven, or he is far away, or maybe I will encounter him when I go to church. But rather that Christ is with me all the time, in every moment, and that my attention is constantly focused on him. There is a beautiful story about St. Ignatius the God-bearer. The story about him when he said that even if they martyred him, Christ was within his heart. And the story is that after they martyred him, they cut open his heart, and as they opened up his heart, in golden letters it said in it, Lord Jesus Christ. It was like a miracle. Obviously nobody had seen such a thing or even could comprehend it, but it was a revelation. And even his name, God-bearer, what does that mean? It means everywhere that he went, he brought God with him, because God was dwelling within him.