Why do I lie awake at night worrying about money?

When I am worrying about money, it is a little taste of hell. That anxiety, that fear, the staying awake at night, laying in bed worrying about things that are out of your control, all of these things are like a little taste of hell. And our holy fathers tell us what our souls actually communicate to us. They tell us where we are spiritually. If we are tasting hell within our souls, this is a sign that something in our relationship with God is dramatically out of whack. Dramatically. If we feel a little bit of hell within us, this is very bad. I do not mean humility. We should feel humility and sorrow for our sins. But what is that sense of hell? The anxiety, the fear, the nagging, the restlessness, the irritability, the anger, that is all that little taste of hell that starts to pop up within us. The holy fathers tell us when our souls are at peace, our heart is calm, our heart is full of love for other people and love for God, this is a little foretaste of eternity. This is telling us, this is signaling to us, the trajectory of our souls. Our souls are not static, just always in an upward motion. We go up, we get distracted, we start to face down towards hell. We realize this is probably not where I want to go. Then we course correct and start climbing up again. But when our souls are facing towards hell, and that little bit of hell is within us, it is like God gives us the medicine. He says, listen, just be generous. Be cheerful with your giving. Get rid of the things that you are attached to. Let them go, because everything belongs to God.